How Cognitive Distortions Keep you STUCK – 4 Way to Stop Negative Thinking | Shadé Zahrai

1. 0:00 – 0:30

   How cognitive distortions “trick” you and why they’re harmful

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai0:00

      Did you know that your mind plays tricks on you? Psychology researchers have known for a while about something called cognitive distortions. These are negative or irrational thought patterns that play a role in diminishing your motivation, destroying your self-esteem, and contributing to mental health problems like anxiety and depression. Now, any of these negative thought patterns are dangerous because what they essentially do is lead you to believe something that isn't true. They lead you to inaccurately perceive reality, and that can be incredibly damaging. So in this episode, I want to explore some of the most common

2. 0:30 – 0:45

   Overgeneralization: turning one event into a life rule

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai0:30

      cognitive distortions that I've come across in our work with professionals all around the world, and then share powerful practices that you can apply to avoid getting sucked in. The first is overgeneralization. This is where you form a sweeping conclusion on the basis of very limited data. You see a pattern

3. 0:45 – 1:00

   Mental filter: noticing only the negative

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai0:45

      based on a singular event. For example: "I didn't progress to the interview stage when I applied for that job, so I'm never going to get another job anywhere else." The mental filter. This is where you notice only the negative aspects of circumstances and you ignore the positive. It's

4. 1:00 – 1:32

   Catastrophizing: blowing consequences out of proportion

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai1:00

      also a form of pessimism bias. For example: "Everything has failed at work this week." When in fact, you did have a number of personal successes. Catastrophizing. You magnify the meaning of events and you blow things way out of proportion. "They're going to notice the typo on my proposal and I'm going to lose all credibility and then get fired." You might also expect disaster to strike no matter what and then get fixated on all the what-ifs. "What if I miss my alarm tomorrow? What if I'm then late for the meeting? What if I lose the client deal?" Personalization.

5. 1:32 – 1:47

   Personalization: taking blame for outcomes you didn’t cause

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai1:32

      This is where you place personal blame or responsibility on yourself as being the cause of a negative outcome which you actually weren't directly responsible for. "It's entirely my fault that the team couldn't close the deal." When you had nothing to do with it. You might also believe that everything others say or

6. 1:47 – 2:02

   Labeling: defining yourself by a mistake

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai1:47

      do is some kind of direct personal reaction to you. "I wasn't invited to that project meeting. Everyone must hate me." And fifth: labeling. This is an extreme form of overgeneralization where you assign labels to yourself. For example, instead of, "I made an error in that

7. 2:02 – 2:32

   Why distortions keep you stuck: mood, decisions, and identity

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai2:02

      report when I submitted it," you attach a negative label to yourself and you say, "I'm a failure. I'm completely useless." Now the fact is these negative distortions of the mind can lead you to feel bad and to make decisions that aren't in your best interest. The worst part is that they can become so deeply entrenched as a pattern of thinking that you come to accept them as a part of who you are, which then leads you to feel helpless. So if any of these cognitive distortions that I just took you through sounded even remotely familiar, here are four practices to help. First, take a

8. 2:32 – 2:47

   Practice 1 — Step back and observe (metacognition)

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai2:32

      step back and observe. In the psychology literature, there's a concept called metacognition, which involves an awareness of our thought processes and understanding the patterns behind them. So basically, you're thinking about your thinking. So the first step is to do that. Pull

9. 2:47 – 3:02

   Practice 2 — Replace absolutes with realistic language

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai2:47

      back to a bird's-eye view and start to view your thoughts objectively. Write them down. What are you telling yourself about the situation and the event? Is it factual? Is it accurate? Could there be another way to interpret it? Second, replace absolutes. When we're stuck in patterns

10. 3:02 – 3:33

    Practice 3 — Move from labels to facts

    1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai3:02

       of cognitive distortion, we often use absolute language like always, nothing, or never. Rephrase these statements, replacing absolutes with something more realistic like sometimes or on occasion. Third: from labels to fact. So you didn't go to the gym today. Instead of, "I'm lazy," rephrase it as, "I didn't go to the gym today." If you didn't get the job, instead of, "I'm unemployable," say, "I didn't get the job." It sounds really simplistic, but it's about training yourself to search for facts rather than drawing incorrect conclusions

11. 3:33 – 4:03

    Practice 4 — Keep a record of ANTs (automatic negative thoughts)

    1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai3:33

       about yourself. Keep a record of ANTs. Going forward, keep a notebook where you capture whenever an automatic negative thought, or ANT, pops into your mind. Write down the following. What is the thought? What led you to have the thought? What caused the unpleasant feelings that you're experiencing? Which cognitive distortions are clouding your judgment? What evidence is there that the thought is true, and what evidence is there that it's not true? Now you've already thought about the worst case scenario, so what is the best that could happen? What's the most realistic scenario? And

12. 4:03 – 4:48

    Building the reframing habit + closing call to action

    1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai4:03

       how likely are the best case and the most realistic scenarios? As you continue to do this, you'll start to notice patterns and trends and it will become easier to identify and then reframe any cognitive distortions in your thinking. So I hope that this helped give you an insight into some of the cognitive distortions that commonly cloud your thinking processes and you can use the four practices to help prevent you from falling into their trap. If you found value in this episode, please give it a like. And if you're not already part of the community, please subscribe and make sure you hit that bell icon to get more videos just like this. I'm Shadé Zahrai. I'll see you in the next one. [outro music]

Episode duration: 4:49