The Curiosity Shop with Brené Brown and Adam Grant

BS Disclaimers, Invisible Armies, and the Importance of the Words We Choose

Brené and Adam discuss the power — and peril — of the words we choose. They dive into two Machiavellian communication tools that often do more harm than good: the "Invisible Army" and "BS Disclaimers". Brené explains why leading with “we” or “but” often comes across as requesting permission to escape accountability, which ultimately sacrifices trust more than anything. Adam explores how these tools can sometimes serve as survival strategies in toxic cultures, leading to a conversation on psychological safety, groupthink, and why precision of language is more important than ever — especially in a world that still judges based on gender and identity. You can find The Curiosity Shop on ⁠YouTube⁠ and ⁠Instagram⁠ (@thecuriosityshop). 0:00 - Introduction 1:10 - The Invisible Army 15:23 - Speaking Up and Pluribus 21:26 - ‘But’ or Escaping Accountability? 40:59 - Responsibility Versus Accountability 46:22 - Judgment Based on Gender and Identity 1:01:55 - Takeaways From Today’s Episode Armored Versus Daring Leadership, Part 2 of 2 - Brené Brown, 2021, Dare to Lead (Podcast) https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-on-armored-versus-daring-leadership-part-2-of-2/ Getting credit for proactive behavior: Supervisor reactions depend on what you value and how you feel - Grant et al., 2009, Personnel Psychology https://www.researchgate.net/publication/211386766_Getting_credit_for_proactive_behavior_Supervisor_reactions_depend_on_what_you_value_and_how_you_feel Plur1bus - Gilligan et al., 2025 - Present, Sony Pictures; Apple TV+ (TV series) https://tv.apple.com/us/show/pluribus/umc.cmc.37axgovs2yozlyh3c2cmwzlza Does Performance Improve Following Multisource Feedback? A Theoretical Model, Meta-Analysis, and Review of Empirical Findings - Smither et al., 2005, Personnel Psychology https://leeds-faculty.colorado.edu/dahe7472/Smither%20performance.pdf Feedback effectiveness: Can 360-degree appraisals be improved? - DeNisi et al., 2000, Academy of Management Perspectives https://www.researchgate.net/publication/274753349_Feedback_effectiveness_Can_360-degree_appraisals_be_improved What Makes a 360-Degree Review Successful? - Zenger and Folkman, 2020, Harvard Business Review https://hbr.org/2020/12/what-makes-a-360-degree-review-successful The bullshit asymmetry [sic]: the amount of energy needed to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude bigger - Brandolini, A., 2013, Twitter https://x.com/ziobrando/status/289635060758507521 The power of powerless speech: The effects of speech style and task interdependence on status conferral - Fragale, 2006, Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes https://alisonfragale.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/AlisonFragale_PowerofPowerlessSpeach.pdf How Can Women Escape the Compensation Negotiation Dilemma? Relational Accounts Are One Answer - Bowles et al., 2013, Psychology of Women Quarterly https://scispace.com/pdf/how-can-women-escape-the-compensation-negotiation-dilemma-45crtyc15z.pdf Likeable Badass: How Women Get the Success They Deserve - Fragale, 2024, Doubleday https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/712677/likeable-badass-by-alison-fragale-phd/ Strong Ground: The Lessons of Daring Leadership, the Tenacity of Paradox, and the Wisdom of the Human Spirit - Brené Brown, 2025, Random House https://brenebrown.com/book/strong-ground/

Brené BrownhostAdam Granthost

May 7, 20261h 8mWatch on YouTube ↗

EPISODE INFO

Released: May 7, 2026
Duration: 1h 8m
Channel: The Curiosity Shop with Brené Brown and Adam Grant
Watch on YouTube: ▶ Open ↗

EPISODE DESCRIPTION

Brené and Adam discuss the power — and peril — of the words we choose. They dive into two Machiavellian communication tools that often do more harm than good: the "Invisible Army" and "BS Disclaimers". Brené explains why leading with “we” or “but” often comes across as requesting permission to escape accountability, which ultimately sacrifices trust more than anything. Adam explores how these tools can sometimes serve as survival strategies in toxic cultures, leading to a conversation on psychological safety, groupthink, and why precision of language is more important than ever — especially in a world that still judges based on gender and identity. You can find The Curiosity Shop on ⁠YouTube⁠ and ⁠Instagram⁠ (@thecuriosityshop). 0:00 - Introduction 1:10 - The Invisible Army 15:23 - Speaking Up and Pluribus 21:26 - ‘But’ or Escaping Accountability? 40:59 - Responsibility Versus Accountability 46:22 - Judgment Based on Gender and Identity 1:01:55 - Takeaways From Today’s Episode Armored Versus Daring Leadership, Part 2 of 2 - Brené Brown, 2021, Dare to Lead (Podcast) https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-on-armored-versus-daring-leadership-part-2-of-2/ Getting credit for proactive behavior: Supervisor reactions depend on what you value and how you feel - Grant et al., 2009, Personnel Psychology https://www.researchgate.net/publication/211386766_Getting_credit_for_proactive_behavior_Supervisor_reactions_depend_on_what_you_value_and_how_you_feel Plur1bus - Gilligan et al., 2025 - Present, Sony Pictures; Apple TV+ (TV series) https://tv.apple.com/us/show/pluribus/umc.cmc.37axgovs2yozlyh3c2cmwzlza Does Performance Improve Following Multisource Feedback? A Theoretical Model, Meta-Analysis, and Review of Empirical Findings - Smither et al., 2005, Personnel Psychology https://leeds-faculty.colorado.edu/dahe7472/Smither%20performance.pdf Feedback effectiveness: Can 360-degree appraisals be improved? - DeNisi et al., 2000, Academy of Management Perspectives https://www.researchgate.net/publication/274753349_Feedback_effectiveness_Can_360-degree_appraisals_be_improved What Makes a 360-Degree Review Successful? - Zenger and Folkman, 2020, Harvard Business Review https://hbr.org/2020/12/what-makes-a-360-degree-review-successful The bullshit asymmetry [sic]: the amount of energy needed to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude bigger - Brandolini, A., 2013, Twitter https://x.com/ziobrando/status/289635060758507521 The power of powerless speech: The effects of speech style and task interdependence on status conferral - Fragale, 2006, Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes https://alisonfragale.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/AlisonFragale_PowerofPowerlessSpeach.pdf How Can Women Escape the Compensation Negotiation Dilemma? Relational Accounts Are One Answer - Bowles et al., 2013, Psychology of Women Quarterly https://scispace.com/pdf/how-can-women-escape-the-compensation-negotiation-dilemma-45crtyc15z.pdf Likeable Badass: How Women Get the Success They Deserve - Fragale, 2024, Doubleday https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/712677/likeable-badass-by-alison-fragale-phd/ Strong Ground: The Lessons of Daring Leadership, the Tenacity of Paradox, and the Wisdom of the Human Spirit - Brené Brown, 2025, Random House https://brenebrown.com/book/strong-ground/

SPEAKERS

Brené Brown
host
Research professor, author, and podcast host focused on leadership, vulnerability, and workplace culture.
Adam Grant
host
Organizational psychologist and Wharton professor known for research on work, motivation, and communication.

EPISODE SUMMARY

In this episode of The Curiosity Shop with Brené Brown and Adam Grant, featuring Brené Brown and Adam Grant, BS Disclaimers, Invisible Armies, and the Importance of the Words We Choose explores how words hide accountability: invisible armies and bullshit disclaimers unpacked They define the “Invisible Army” as using vague collective claims (“we all think/feel”) to boost leverage while dodging personal ownership, and distinguish it from responsibly reporting observations or aggregated concerns.

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