Taylor Tomlinson ON: The Quarter-Life Crisis & How to Let Go of Toxic Relationships

She described performing as physically terrifying early on—feeling sick for days beforehand—and said repetition reduced the pressure and helped her build confidence. She also noted the fear returns if she’s offstage for long periods, like during lockdown.

She said she didn’t fully commit mentally to leaving college at first; she left because she’d booked enough work that she “physically couldn’t go” and kept telling herself she could return. She only felt truly done with school once she landed her first Netflix special, though the pandemic briefly revived doubt.

She said church comedy came with rigid expectations that extended beyond being clean onstage to being a “Christian all the time,” including scrutiny over small things like saying “damn.” After being removed from a show over a tweet with innuendo, she told her manager she couldn’t do church offers anymore because it was “all or nothing.”

She said losing her mother at eight was “the most important thing” that happened to her, shaping anxiety, empathy, work ethic, and creativity, alongside deep sadness. She also described the complicated drive to succeed for a parent who isn’t there—“chasing the approval of a ghost”—and realizing success doesn’t fill that hole.

She said her early belief was that turning something into a joke meant she’d “dealt with it,” but therapy taught her that understanding something logically doesn’t mean it’s healed. She referenced trauma as not only intellectual but physical and emotional, which is why she emphasizes doing the private work alongside sharing publicly.