Origin Story w/ David McIntosh JrLosing My Father Taught Me How To Live - Michael Smoak
At a glance
WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT
Young parental loss reframes risk, presence, and a life well-lived
- Michael Smoak describes the distinct disorientation of losing a parent in your twenties—old enough not to be a child, but not yet fully established in adulthood.
- Both speakers say early grief forcefully teaches life’s finality, shifting values toward presence with loved ones rather than achievement or work.
- They frame decision-making through “rocking chair cinema,” imagining old age and choosing actions that will become meaningful memories rather than missed chances.
- David challenges “YOLO” as incomplete, proposing “YODO” (you only die once) to emphasize living intentionally every day.
- Michael argues most perceived risk is psychological if basic safety and needs are met, and uses mortality awareness to justify bolder, experience-rich choices like full-time travel.
IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING
5 ideasEarly parental grief accelerates value clarity.
Losing a parent in your twenties collapses abstractions about mortality into lived reality, making it easier to see what matters most at the end of life.
Dying people rarely wish they worked more.
Michael highlights his father’s consistent regret—wanting more fully present time with loved ones—suggesting relationships and attention outscore status or productivity.
Use “rocking chair cinema” to choose experiences over hypotheticals.
Filtering decisions through the imagined perspective of your 90-year-old self helps prioritize opportunities that become sustaining memories rather than lingering “what ifs.”
Replace “YOLO” with daily intentionality.
David’s “YODO” framing shifts focus from impulsive one-off behavior to consistent, values-aligned living each day because life is repeatedly lived, not just “spent.”
Most modern ‘risk’ is narrative, not danger.
Michael argues that if physical safety and basic needs (food, rent) are covered, fear often comes from the brain’s bias toward familiarity rather than real threat.
WORDS WORTH SAVING
5 quotes"We belong to a club. It's a specific club, and it's a shitty club, and you and I, David, both belong to it. It's the Dead Parents Under Thirty Club, and it sucks."
— Michael Smoak
"I think the best lesson it ever taught me is just, 'Fuck it. We're gonna die.' Like, do what you want. Be present. Love on people hard. Love hard. Live fully. Empty the tank on your life."
— Michael Smoak
"It's what I think the YOLO movement got wrong. You only live once. It's entirely false. It's a lie. You only die once, but you live every single day. It should be YODO."
— David McIntosh Jr
"For most of us, we're gonna suffer. We're gonna get weaker. We're gonna be in pain. Our friends are gonna die. Our kids are gonna get busy. Our grandkids are never gonna come visit. We're gonna be alone. And then, only then maybe will we have the relief of death."
— Michael Smoak
"If, if it's not gonna kill me, if my immediate physical safety is not harmed, and if I'm able to eat and pay rent or pay my mortgage, all risk is psychological. It's not real."
— Michael Smoak
High quality AI-generated summary created from speaker-labeled transcript.
