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Peter Attia MD208 - Tragedy, grief, healing, and finding happiness | Kelsey Chittick
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At a glance
WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT
Kelsey Chittick on losing Nate, CTE, grief, psychedelics, radical acceptance
- Kelsey describes her life with former NFL defensive tackle Nate, from meeting at UNC through his long-shot career, his hard transition out of football, and his struggles with weight and health.
- She recounts her unexplained anxiety and premonitions before Nate died of a heart attack while she was at a spiritual event in Jamaica, then the flight home and telling her 9- and 12-year-old children.
- Autopsy findings showed an enlarged, failing heart and stage two to almost stage three CTE, which Kelsey finds some gratitude in but her children do not.
- She describes the brutal first years of grief, including her children's suicidal feelings and how they differ from adults in processing loss, and says she can now grieve and feel happiness at the same time.
- Psilocybin, MDMA, meditation and radical acceptance became her tools for healing, and she describes a first psilocybin journey in which she processed trauma and felt contact with Nate.
IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING
5 ideasFootball brought both joy and a heavy cost
Kelsey says the sport unifies communities and gives players opportunities, yet most players last about three years, and she cites a figure that roughly 70% end up broke and divorced. She says she is conflicted about it and would not let her own kid play.
Hindsight changed how she saw Nate's decline
Nate's forgetfulness, sadness, and a rare snap over the internet fit the CTE symptoms she was later given. She says she was harsh with him, did not know how sick he was, and wishes she had been kinder.
Children grieve differently from adults
Kelsey says her kids covered their ears when pushed to talk about the day Nate died, and her daughter did not want to draw it. She believes kids live in the present, do not like seeing a parent sobbing, and cope best in a joyful home where the loss can be talked about when they want.
Grief and gratitude can coexist
Kelsey rejects a stages-of-grief model, saying she can miss Nate terribly and be happier than ever. She also contrasts her own view with her mother-in-law's belief that she will grieve forever.
Psychedelics helped her move toward pain rather than numb it
Kelsey says Xanax and Ambien made her feel far from everything, while a guided psilocybin journey let her relive the flight home with support and release long-buried anger at Nate. Peter adds that these molecules are not magic on their own and work best alongside traditional therapy.
WORDS WORTH SAVING
5 quotesThe resistance to that and the wishing it was different is what kills you. So a lot of people say, "How are you doing so well?" And I say, "Because I don't wish it was different." That's pretty much it.
— Kelsey Chittick
We kind of, from that point on, fought for joy while acknowledging excruciating pain, and doing it at the same time.
— Kelsey Chittick
I miss Nate terribly, and I am so happy. I don't know what to tell you. I'm happier than I've ever been in my life, and I've been through the worst thing ever.
— Kelsey Chittick
I think humans are, are built to last. We're meant to... We're, we're built to make it through things.
— Kelsey Chittick
The human experience is one of loss.
— Peter Attia
High quality AI-generated summary created from speaker-labeled transcript.
