Simon SinekThe Quiet Power of the Empathetic Leader with Navy SEAL turned rowing coach Gordon Schmidt
Simon Sinek and Gordon Schmidt on empathy, purpose, and team culture shape quiet leadership under pressure.
In this episode of Simon Sinek, featuring Simon Sinek and Gordon Schmidt, The Quiet Power of the Empathetic Leader with Navy SEAL turned rowing coach Gordon Schmidt explores empathy, purpose, and team culture shape quiet leadership under pressure Schmidt describes leaving the SEAL Teams as an intense loss of brotherhood and identity, and explains how accepting grief—rather than numbing it—helped him move forward.
At a glance
WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT
Empathy, purpose, and team culture shape quiet leadership under pressure
- Schmidt describes leaving the SEAL Teams as an intense loss of brotherhood and identity, and explains how accepting grief—rather than numbing it—helped him move forward.
- Rowing and coaching teens became a new source of purpose, offering a team-based culture that mirrors SEAL principles of coordination, shared pain, and collective performance.
- A varsity boat selection story illustrates how leaders build culture by making standards clear, keeping roles non-permanent, and rewarding effort and attitude—not entitlement.
- The conversation reframes “grit” as paying a chosen price of admission for something you truly want, explaining why people quit BUD/S when motivations are status-based or unclear.
- Schmidt shares a combat lesson: in high-stakes moments, calm, respectful communication and empathy—not theatrics—keeps teams cohesive and effective after traumatic events.
IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING
7 ideasQuiet leadership often outperforms dramatic leadership.
Schmidt argues inspiration frequently comes from sensing what the team feels and needs, not from speeches or performative toughness—especially when morale is fragile.
Identity loss after service is real even when you try to separate job and self.
He avoided saying “I am a SEAL,” yet still felt the “gate closing behind you” as a visceral, final separation from brotherhood and meaning.
Grit is not a personality trait; it’s a chosen “price of admission.”
Both BUD/S and book-writing are framed as enduring disliked tasks because the purpose is compelling enough to pay the cost.
Culture determines performance when talent is evenly matched.
In rowing, bitterness from being moved off the top boat would harm the whole crew; composure and positivity are essential for comeback wins and resilient racing.
Make team roles competitive but never permanent.
By emphasizing that seats can change and effort is always evaluated, Schmidt creates a system where athletes respond to setbacks with action rather than resentment.
Leaders’ decisions ripple; quitting is contagious when the quitter is respected.
In BUD/S, when a strong, well-liked leader quits, others often follow because their belief collapses—proof that leadership is influence, not rank.
Empathy in crisis can look like clarity, calm tone, and purposeful action.
After a teammate was blinded by an IED, Schmidt avoided “rah-rah” and instead shared information, intent, and a grounded next step—giving the team what they emotionally needed to re-engage.
WORDS WORTH SAVING
5 quotes“Wait until you get out. The loudest sound in the world is the gate shutting behind you.”
— Gordon Schmidt (relaying a friend’s saying)
“Get busy living or get busy dying.”
— Gordon Schmidt (quoting Shawshank Redemption)
“It’s strong teams that are successful, not strong individuals.”
— Gordon Schmidt
“That’s just what someone else decided was the price of admission.”
— Gordon Schmidt
“You guys know why we’re doing this.”
— Gordon Schmidt
QUESTIONS ANSWERED IN THIS EPISODE
5 questionsIn the rowing program, what specific routines or language do you use to build a “positive crew culture” day-to-day (beyond seat races)?
Schmidt describes leaving the SEAL Teams as an intense loss of brotherhood and identity, and explains how accepting grief—rather than numbing it—helped him move forward.
When you say you decided to stop “numbing” the sadness after leaving the Teams, what did numbing look like for you in practical terms, and what replaced it?
Rowing and coaching teens became a new source of purpose, offering a team-based culture that mirrors SEAL principles of coordination, shared pain, and collective performance.
In the varsity demotion story, what did you do (or not do) to prevent the rest of the team from interpreting the swap as favoritism or punishment?
A varsity boat selection story illustrates how leaders build culture by making standards clear, keeping roles non-permanent, and rewarding effort and attitude—not entitlement.
You mentioned that if an officer quits and nobody else quits “for a while,” it means he made the right decision—what behaviors made someone obviously the wrong leader in BUD/S?
The conversation reframes “grit” as paying a chosen price of admission for something you truly want, explaining why people quit BUD/S when motivations are status-based or unclear.
How do you teach teenage athletes to handle the emotional sequence you observed—anger, sadness, isolation—without shaming them for it?
Schmidt shares a combat lesson: in high-stakes moments, calm, respectful communication and empathy—not theatrics—keeps teams cohesive and effective after traumatic events.
EVERY SPOKEN WORD
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