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ADHD Chatter PodcastLeading ADHD Expert Shares New Emotional Dysregulation Trick
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WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT
Dr. Tamara Rosier on ADHD, Emotional Regulation, RSD and Identity
- Rosier says people with ADHD rely on emotional centers rather than the prefrontal cortex, so differences quickly turn into shame and a weaker sense of self, though she insists their brains are not broken.
- She describes how years of criticism and a survival-driven habit of reading other people's emotions leave many with ADHD sensitive to rejection and unsure where they end and others begin.
- She and Alex Partridge discuss RSD and offer ways to handle it, including pausing before saying yes, taking small risks, speaking up kindly, and treating the inner critic as a protector.
- Rosier explains working memory and emotional memory, how ADHD affects communication and partnerships, and how finding blind spots with curiosity and feedback from trusted people helps.
- In closing segments she uses a sand metaphor for ADHD, tells a listener that quickly zigzagging moods point more to ADHD than bipolar disorder, and reframes 'be organized' as spending limited organization points where they matter.
IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING
5 ideasShame is a poor motivator and should be dropped
Rosier says people with ADHD lean on anger, shame and self-loathing as motivation because they lack reliable prefrontal access, but these are lousy motivators and she wants shame gone.
A weak sense of self makes criticism hit harder
She says many with ADHD develop identity late after being repeatedly criticized and playing catch-up, and that a firmer sense of 'who I am and what I stand for' helps them hold boundaries and handle shame.
Reading the room is a survival skill with a cost
Rosier says tuning in to others' emotions to stay safe is useful but blurs the line between yourself and others, which gets in the way of self-development.
Treat the inner critic as a protector, not an enemy
Using her 'Critical Calvin' and 'Anxious Amy' monkeys, she says these voices are trying to keep you safe, so she thanks them kindly and disagrees rather than shutting them out.
Put yourself at risk of rejection on purpose and create space before answering
Rosier checks weekly whether she has faced RSD by taking a risk, and she and Alex both endorse softening disagreement in meetings and replying 'can I let you know tomorrow?' instead of an automatic yes.
WORDS WORTH SAVING
5 quotesADHD is not a strength, but we are heroes. Any time we succeed, any time we do anything, it's an underdog story, and we should be celebrated like the heroes we are, um, because it's hard.
— Dr. Tamara Rosier
ADHD is a neurological difference not a license for poor behavior.
— Dr. Tamara Rosier
I only have so many organization points in life. I can't spend them all on my food pantry. That would be ridiculous.
— Dr. Tamara Rosier
ADHD affects every nook and cranny of our lives, and I work with clients who think they can keep their ADHD to work. I'm like, "No, no, no, sir. That is not how that works at all."
— Dr. Tamara Rosier
We're like method actors going around going, "What's my motivation?" Well, we're making emotional meaning out of everything.
— Dr. Tamara Rosier
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SPEAKERS
Dr. Tamara Rosier
guestADHD-focused author and coach (PhD in teaching), known for the book "Your Brain’s Not Broken."
Alex Partridge
hostHost of the podcast "ADHD Chatter with Alex Partridge."
High quality AI-generated summary created from speaker-labeled transcript.
