How to Succeed at Hard Conversations | Chris Voss

In this episode my guest is Chris Voss, a former Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) agent who was the lead negotiator in many high-risk, high-consequence cases. Chris has taught negotiation courses at Harvard and Georgetown Universities and is the author of the book “Never Split the Difference.” We discuss how to navigate difficult conversations of all kinds, including business, romance and romantic breakups, job firings and tense conversations with family and friends. Chris explains how to navigate online, in-person and written negotiations, the red flags to watch out for and how to read body and voice cues in face-to-face and phone conversations. He explains how to use empathy, certain key questions, proactive listening, emotional processing and more to ensure you reach the best possible outcome in any hard conversation. This episode ought to be of interest to anyone looking to improve their interpersonal abilities and communication skills or to keep a level head in heated discussions. Thank you to our sponsors AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman Plunge: https://plunge.com/huberman ROKA: https://roka.com/huberman InsideTracker: https://insidetracker.com/huberman InsideTracker Giveaway: https://info.insidetracker.com/hydrow Momentous: https://livemomentous.com/huberman Huberman Lab Social & Website Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hubermanlab Threads: https://www.threads.net/@hubermanlab Twitter: https://twitter.com/hubermanlab Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hubermanlab TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@hubermanlab LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andrew-huberman Website: https://hubermanlab.com Newsletter: https://hubermanlab.com/newsletter Chris Voss The Black Swan Group: https://www.blackswanltd.com MasterClass: https://bit.ly/45bL86o Never Split the Difference (book): https://amzn.to/47Ng5Qv Fireside Chriss Voss: https://bit.ly/46rMNWc The Edge Newsletter: https://bit.ly/46hTj2f Live Events: https://bit.ly/46cFDFM YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Blackswanltd1 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/christophervoss X: https://twitter.com/fbinegotiator Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChrisVossNegotiation Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thefbinegotiator Articles Human magnetic sense is mediated by a light and magnetic field resonance-dependent mechanism: https://go.nature.com/3PFQ5hP Conscious processing of narrative stimuli synchronizes heart rate between individuals: https://bit.ly/48BegXl Books "Man Without a Gun : One Diplomat's Secret Struggle to Free the Hostages, Fight Terrorism, and End a War": https://amzn.to/3RfHTWv "Beyond Winning: Negotiating to Create Value in Deals and Disputes": https://amzn.to/3uSBjOd "The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time": https://amzn.to/4acfs4t "The Full Fee Agent: How to Stack the Odds in Your Favor as a Real Estate Professional": https://amzn.to/3Nhe9Hp Huberman Lab Episodes Dr. Eddie Chang: The Science of Learning & Speaking Languages: https://bit.ly/46rUFaZ How Smell, Taste & Pheromone-Like Chemicals Control You: https://bit.ly/45u3ik1 Dr. Robert Malenka: How Your Brain's Reward Circuits Drive Your Choices: https://bit.ly/459vqbH Dr. Paul Conti: Therapy, Treating Trauma & Other Life Challenges: https://bit.ly/45g8Nmb Timestamps 00:00:00 Chris Voss 00:02:18 Sponsors: Plunge & ROKA 00:04:59 Negotiation Mindset, Playfulness 00:11:41 Calm Voice, Emotional Shift, Music 00:18:59 “Win-Win”?, Benevolent Negotiations, Hypothesis Testing 00:28:38 Generosity 00:32:46 Sponsor: AG1 00:33:44 Hostile Negotiations, Internal Collaboration 00:39:40 Patterns & Specificity; Internet Scams, “Double-Dip” 00:48:15 Urgency, Cons, Asking Questions 00:54:46 Negotiations, Fair Questions, Exhausting Adversaries 01:01:09 Sponsor: InsideTracker 01:02:18 “Vision Drives Decision”, Human Nature & Investigation 01:07:47 Lying & Body, “Gut Sense” 01:15:42 Face-to-Face Negotiation, “738” & Affective Cues 01:20:39 Online/Text Communication; “Straight Shooters” 01:26:47 Break-ups (Romantic & Professional), Firing, Resilience 01:32:16 Ego Depletion, Negotiation Outcomes 01:37:35 Readiness & “Small Space Practice”, Labeling 01:45:17 Venting, Emotions & Listening; Meditation & Spirituality 01:51:41 Physical Fitness, Self-Care 01:57:01 Long Negotiations & Recharging 02:02:40 Hostages, Humanization & Names 02:08:50 Tactical Empathy, Compassion 02:15:27 Tool: Mirroring Technique 02:22:20 Tool: Proactive Listening 02:29:48 Family Members & Negotiations 02:35:21 Self Restoration, Humor 02:39:01 Fireside, Communication Courses; Rapport; Writing Projects 02:47:45 “Sounds Like…” Perspective 02:50:54 Zero-Cost Support, Spotify & Apple Reviews, Sponsors, YouTube Feedback, Momentous, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter Title Card Photo Credit: Mike Blabac - https://www.blabacphoto.com Disclaimer: https://www.hubermanlab.com/disclaimer