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Jay Shetty PodcastDREW BARRYMORE ON: If You STRUGGLE To Find & Keep Real Love, WATCH THIS! | Jay Shetty
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WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT
Drew Barrymore on forgiveness, shame, inner work and redefining love
- Drew Barrymore says she observed people from a very young age to decide what kind of person she wanted to be, and she distrusts those who treat people differently in different rooms.
- She describes her therapist ending their work after eight years because drinking blocked progress, and says that after two years without alcohol he took her back and they are now doing their best work in a decade.
- Barrymore says true forgiveness only works when it is given with nothing expected in return, and she describes shame and guilt as bad roommates she wants to evict.
- She links the honest family group sessions she experienced at 13 in an institution to how she wants to run her talk show, centered on truth and lack of judgment.
- Jay Shetty argues that society puts romantic love on a pedestal above other forms of love, and Barrymore, single for almost seven years, embraces investing in herself and trusting her gut.
IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING
5 ideasBe wary of people who treat others differently in different rooms
Barrymore says she learned early to watch whether someone's behavior changes by audience, separating performance for a job from who the person really is.
Forgiveness is not a technique
Barrymore says she once saw forgiveness as a gift to others, but found that forgiving in order to feel better does not work, and liberation comes only when it is genuine and expects nothing back.
Good guidance helps you grow rather than keeping you stuck
Barrymore praises her therapist for stepping away when work could not progress, and says that a guide who is comfortable with you staying in the same place is not a good sign.
Truth and absence of judgment create safety
Asked by Shetty what made the family group nights at the institution feel safe, Barrymore says honesty and not being judged did, and she says if others do not provide safety you can try to provide it yourself, as with writing your own Post-it note.
Romantic love has been placed on a pedestal
Shetty says wisdom traditions treat love for coworkers, friends, family and strangers as the ultimate expression, and the pedestal raises expectations of partners and makes people feel incomplete.
WORDS WORTH SAVING
5 quotesI thought forgiveness was a gift to someone else. You forgiving them was giving them a gift.
— Drew Barrymore
Shame and guilt are roommates I've had my whole life that I totally resent and, like, wish I could just give an eviction notice to.
— Drew Barrymore
Don't blame people for stuff. Don't stay stuck. Get on with it. Get out of bed. Put one foot in front of the other. Start doing dishes. You'll start feeling better, I promise.
— Drew Barrymore
I think the hierarchy that we've placed on love is what's distorting our vision of what we need.
— Jay Shetty
Instead of, like, boohooing through this time, love it, like it, 'cause one day it might be gone, and you'll romanticize looking back how great it was to be in a relationship with yourself.
— Drew Barrymore
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SPEAKERS
Drew Barrymore
guestActress, producer, and talk show host known for a lifelong career in film and television.
Jay Shetty
hostPodcast host and author, known for interviews focused on purpose, mindfulness, and relationships.
High quality AI-generated summary created from speaker-labeled transcript.
