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Jay Shetty PodcastJay Shetty Podcast

Jay & His Wife Radhi ON: The BIGGEST LIE About Love & 3 Things To Look For In A Partner

You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour.

Jay ShettyhostRadhi Devlukia-Shettyguest
Feb 13, 20231h 7mWatch on YouTube

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At a glance

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Jay and Radhi Shetty Reflect on Love, Imperfection, and Growing Together

  1. Jay and Radhi describe what they love in each other, with Radhi citing Jay's consistency and integrity and Jay citing her humor, non-judgment, and growth in confidence over seven years of big life changes.
  2. They discuss the parent, child, and partner roles in relationships, with Jay arguing that fixing a partner keeps them dependent, while real love helps them fall more in love with themselves.
  3. Both push back on the idea of perfection, explaining that Jay shares their struggles so people know no partnership is perfect, while Radhi finds the pressure of being seen as perfect suffocating.
  4. Jay explains his idea of a partner as a guru, someone who believes in you, gives honest feedback, and loves you for who you are rather than for what you achieve.
  5. They share practical tools for busy couples, including daily check-ins, a quality day for every day apart, monthly deep-connection time, and four recurring check-in questions, and they caution against rigid partner checklists.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Loving someone means helping them love themselves

Jay says constantly fixing a partner makes them feel broken and dependent, so teaching them to heal and navigate life themselves is the real help. Radhi adds that fixing can be a selfish way of feeling important.

Different fight styles are not different levels of care

Jay used to think Radhi's need to hide and take time meant she cared less, but he came to see it as just how she processes. Agreeing to revisit the issue after 12 to 24 hours lets them return having digested it.

A partner should see your potential, not just criticize

Jay says it is easy to be the most critical person toward a partner, but a guru-like partner believes in you. He says Radhi never loved him more for his awards, which kept him from tying his self-worth to achievement.

Honest feedback comes from caring

Jay says Radhi will call his work average because she wants it to be great, while someone who doesn't care would just say it's amazing. He says he listens because he knows she wants what benefits him.

Quality of time matters more than quantity

Radhi says she used to equate more hours with more love, but presence matters more. Jay adds that shared, active experiences like Go Ape, escape rooms, or pottery build more connection than passive date nights.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

I think a lot of the time in relationships, you make someone feel broken because you keep fixing them.

— Jay Shetty

So I always tell people that loving someone means you make them fall more in love with themselves, not more in love with you.

— Jay Shetty

I don't think there's a perfect person. I don't think there's a perfect partner. I think there's just navigating our imperfections and figuring them out.

— Jay Shetty

You can't just expect a plant or a tree to grow in your house when you don't water it and you don't take care of it.

— Jay Shetty

you can feel so much more fueled from a 15-minute interaction with someone, and loved with presence than you can with two hours of someone's distracted time.

— Radhi Devlukia-Shetty

Read the available transcript
Consistency and integrity in a partnerParent, child, and partner rolesFight styles: venting, hiding, explodingPressure of perfection and sharing publiclyPartner as guruQuality time over quantityStaying connected when busy

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SPEAKERS

  • Jay Shetty

    host

    Host of the podcast “On Purpose,” author of “8 Rules of Love,” and speaker on relationships and personal growth.

  • Radhi Devlukia-Shetty

    guest

    Wellness and nutrition-focused content creator and Jay Shetty’s wife, sharing perspectives on relationships and healthy living.

High quality AI-generated summary created from speaker-labeled transcript.

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